BEGIN:VCALENDAR VERSION:2.0 PRODID:-//https://e-sol.fr/?//YesWiki doryphore 4.5.5//EN SOURCE:https://e-sol.fr/?api/forms/2/entries/ical BEGIN:VEVENT UID:https://e-sol.fr/?Bordeaux URL:https://e-sol.fr/?Bordeaux DTSTAMP:20260416T183941Z DTSTART:20240409T220000Z DTEND:20240412T220000Z CREATED:20210621T173356Z DATE-MOD:20240402T141709Z SUMMARY:Super événement à Bordeaux NAME:Super événement à Bordeaux DESCRIPTION:Un événement autour du vin, c'est pour cela qu'il est à Bordeaux... \nSource: https://e-sol.fr/?Bordeaux LOCATION:Bordeaux GEO:44.841225;-0.5800364 END:VEVENT BEGIN:VEVENT UID:https://e-sol.fr/?TesT2 URL:https://e-sol.fr/?TesT2 DTSTAMP:20260416T183941Z DTSTART:20240530T160000Z DTEND:20240530T180000Z CREATED:20240402T142551Z DATE-MOD:20240402T144820Z SUMMARY:Sortie Culturelle NAME:Sortie Culturelle DESCRIPTION:La culture, moins on en a, plus on l'étale! \nSource: https://e-sol.fr/?TesT2 LOCATION:Avenue des Champs Elysées 75000 Paris GEO:48.8659085;2.3197651 IMAGE;VALUE=URI;DISPLAY=BADGE:https://e-sol.fr/files/TesT2_presence-photo. png ATTACH:https://e-sol.fr/files/TesT2_presence-photo.png END:VEVENT BEGIN:VEVENT UID:https://e-sol.fr/?WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking URL:https://e-sol.fr/?WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking DTSTAMP:20260416T183941Z DTSTART:20220603T220000Z DTEND:20220604T220000Z CREATED:20250604T102752Z DATE-MOD:20250604T102752Z SUMMARY:What Happens When Your Partner Quits Drinking? NAME:What Happens When Your Partner Quits Drinking? DESCRIPTION: Télécharger le fichier coupleafter.jpg (https://e-sol.fr/?api/upload&file=coupleafter.jpg)\n“Without the usual crutch of alcohol or drugs to lean on, loved ones may find their partner irritable, difficult to talk to, sad, anxious, or frustrated without any obvious explanation.”\n\nPeople with addiction tend to be oblivious to how their behavior affects loved ones. Putting down the drugs or alcohol is the first step but it is not a relationship cure-all. Romantic partners can be unprepared for the difficulties they will encounter after their loved one no longer uses a substance.\n\nLois Wilson, the long-suffering wife of AA’s cofounder, Bill Wilson, said that after he quit drinking—something she had always hoped for—she became disgruntled. She had dreamed of the time he would finally get himself together but now that he was sober, she became bitterly discontented. “It seemed I saw nothing of the man I had tried to help,” Lois said. He was always with his AA cronies who helped him to resist alcohol. “I guess I was jealous,” Lois admitted, “and resentful that these strangers had done for him what I could not do.”\n\nRelationship expert and author, Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, told The Fix, “Many spouses I’ve worked with have had a lot of resentment once their partner got clean—resentment they hadn’t allowed themselves the luxury of feeling before, in the ‘fight’ to get their partner sober. Spouses of recovering addicts also feel a lot of distrust and fear. They want to know their partner’s every move, to be sure he or she is not relapsing.”\n\nNext, I reached out to addiction and recovery expert Al J. Mooney, M.D., co-author of The Recovery Book. “Early recovery must be a selfish effort but family members, especially spouses, who suffered so much during active addiction, are often confused when the self-centeredness of the recovering addict continues. Recovery meets the most success when addict and spouse work on their own personal care as the top priority so the relationship can rebuild eventually with two healthy individuals.”\n\nDr. Mooney explained a common misconception, “A spouse can have an erroneous idea that once he’s sober, everything will be fine. But it can be two to three years before an individual’s recovery is really to the point where there is enough growth for relationships to be healthy. That is very confusing for families, especially those that haven’t received any orientation as to how you need to have two healthy individuals before you can have a healthy relationship. Families can be so good at codependency that they dream about the day their partner gets sober, when life is going to be great. They don’t realize how sick they have gotten by sticking with an alcoholic through the turmoil.”\n\nMooney’s words rang true when I spoke with with Mary* (a pseudonym). “My boyfriend came from a very conservative, religious family. When we first got together, he was extremely charming. He said he didn’t agree with his evangelical background. He was addicted to different substances. He said his parents thought drinking was a sin. He couldn’t stop drinking, so his denial rejected the religion. But when he wasn’t drinking, he became manipulative and emotionally abusive. By the time I could see that, it had already affected the way I saw myself. He began quoting bible passages at me. He began to object to me hanging out with my friends. It happened so gradually, I couldn’t see that what was happening was abnormal. In hindsight, there were plenty of times where I should’ve said, ‘I don’t have to put up with this.’ But I have a tendency to try to save baby birds. I suggested he try AA, counseling, rehab, a retreat. But he would recite bible verses at me.”\n\nSo, why did Mary stay so long? “I had invested so much time in our relationship. I always try to give people room for their beliefs. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. His dedication to God made it seem like he was trying to better himself. I didn’t realize how warped it was, how controlling and cult-like his family and their religion was.”\n\nHow did she extricate herself? “I think the only reason I got out of that relationship was that I got very sick. I was so sick that school was considering suspending my degree because they didn’t think I’d be able to finish my course work. I went to live with my nearby aunt and uncle. Thankfully, after six weeks of bed rest, I was able to get back to school and do my dissertation. Having that space away from my boyfriend, and being tended to by loving family and close friends, changed me. Nobody knew what my relationship had been like, but I could see the difference after being treated so well. It wasn’t a clean break but the distance helped. I finally saw that he had two problems: alcohol and religion. I had kept so much hidden but now my current boyfriend knows everything that happened. I’m in a much better place.”\n\nMooney talked about chapter 26 in The Recovery Book, “We describe how important it is to give the newly sober person (https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/sober-singles) some breathing room. Everybody likes a quick fix—once somebody gets sober we want everything to be beautiful forever after but life just doesn’t work that way. Many couples don’t manage to stay together. When a sick alcoholic has an unmanageable life, the spouse often takes total control of the home, kids, the wallet, everything. So, often times when somebody returns to health after active addiction, their spouse is very uncomfortable when all of a sudden, they’re expected to give up the checkbook, give up control of the kids. The self-reliance the spouse had developed to deal with the alcoholic, is threatened and that can be very uncomfortable. It’s easy to point your finger at somebody but it is a family illness. All these factors play into the difficulty of building a healthy relationship after sobriety.”\n\nSponsored Ads \nLooking For Free Online Dating? Try Loveawake: \nSweden Dating Ads (https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Sweden-dating-service.html)\ nWhat if the addict doesn’t get sober in a recovery program or with some kind of therapeutic help? Mooney said, “That’s what we call a ‘dry drunk’ or ‘white knuckle sobriety.’ Remember, the disease of addiction is more than just the drinking and taking drugs. The disease is what lies underneath, what drives them to use. When somebody just stops drinking or doing drugs, it’s like if you and I just stop breathing. For a few seconds, it’s fine but after a minute or two, life gets really, really hard. You get anxious, restless, because if you’re an alcoholic your body needs the alcohol, unless there is recovery that replaces what the alcohol had been trying to treat. Without treatment, people become control freaks, they become angry, resentful, they have a short fuse. Lots of pathology comes along with just sobriety without recovery. There are plenty of people who go to treatment and hear about recovery but never implement it into their lives.”\n\nThis white knuckling was illustrated when I spoke with Susan* (a pseudonym). She never had a problem with drinking. “If I’m out with people and they’re having drinks I’m usually the driver. My ex-boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic but he’s certainly not a recovering asshole. [Laughs] We met through friends. He’s really funny and we’re both big nerds and we made the same references to things. We seemed to have a lot in common. If you’re not in a relationship with him, he’s one of the most fun people to hang out with.”\n\nThe first time he went to rehab it didn’t take. The second time it did. But, Susan said, “He only went to a men’s group meeting on Tuesday nights. His job seemed to take the place of alcohol. He works for a radio station as an on-air personality. He’s the news, weather, and traffic guy. He began putting all of his energy into that. He was working so much, he stopped going to his men’s meetings.”\n\nDid he have a sponsor? “Yes, and I guess he talked to him but I never knew if he did or didn’t. Looking back, I can see he had anxiety issues. I don’t know how to separate his anxiety issues from his alcoholism. My therapist said it’s probably a chicken and egg situation. His anxiety could have been one of the reasons that he turned to alcohol in the first place—that, and the fact that both of his parents were alcoholics. I don’t know for sure if his annoying behavior was from being an alcoholic who never dealt with his emotional issues, or if it was ongoing emotional issues from not dealing with his anxiety.”\n\nWas he in therapy? “Oh God, no! And I have a master’s degree in psychology. That used to piss him off. Anytime I said anything about psychology, he said, ‘Stop trying to analyze me!’ His insecurity was too much. I said the same kinds of general things about psychology to other people and they never got upset.”\n\nSuzette Glasner, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook, told The Fix, “I’ve worked with quite a few individuals for whom the road to recovery posed more challenges to their relationship than they expected. For those who use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate for other underlying problems—depression, anxiety, and general dissatisfaction with life—some of their raw emotions come bubbling to the surface once they get clean and sober, especially in the early phases, when the brain and body are undergoing a delicate healing process.”\n\nEmotions in early sobriety can be intense. “Without the usual crutch of alcohol or drugs to lean on,” said Dr. Glasner, “loved ones may find their partner irritable, difficult to talk to, sad, anxious, or frustrated without any obvious explanation.”\n\nIt can be difficult not to take things personally. “For some addicts in early recovery, being reassured or comforted is helpful or talking with a partner may be therapeutic,” Glasner said. “But for others, communicating can feel smothering. I’ve worked with some for whom the addiction placed a comfortable distance and both partners became accustomed to leading fairly separate lives. Then suddenly, in recovery, one partner found renewed interest in his girlfriend, but to her, that felt demanding and overbearing. So, he felt lonely and rejected but she felt smothered and chose to end the relationship.”\n\nTwo people who are committed to working things out, can get through the ups and downs. As with any relationship, a couple can grow stronger by learning to navigate challenges. Glasner suggested reading about addiction and recovery. Helpful websites include: National Institute on Drug Abuse and the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse.\n\n“If you’re in therapy,” said Glasner, “have your partner attend with you once or twice to learn about what each of you are working on. Have open dialogues about what would be most helpful when the newly-sober alcoholic feels triggered.”\n\nDuring calm periods, it’s smart to plan how to handle flair-ups before they happen. The newly-sober partner will hopefully be able to thank their partner for being patient. Relationship difficulties are normal as you try and figure out how to be happy together. And, thanks to Lois Wilson, Al-Anon is an excellent option. \nSource: https://e-sol.fr/?WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking END:VEVENT BEGIN:VEVENT UID:https://e-sol.fr/?DatingOverFiftyFive URL:https://e-sol.fr/?DatingOverFiftyFive DTSTAMP:20260416T183941Z DTSTART:20220617T220000Z DTEND:20220618T220000Z CREATED:20250618T150954Z DATE-MOD:20250618T150954Z SUMMARY:Dating Over Fifty-Five NAME:Dating Over Fifty-Five DESCRIPTION: Télécharger le fichier 1634431529612x612.jpg (https://e-sol.fr/?api/upload&file=1634431529612x612.jpg)\nDating over fifty-five can be a lot of fun if you let it. Some of men you date will tell you early on why they are not worthy of you if you listen very carefully. And do listen. I am a professional woman over fifty-five and have been single for several years. I thought I might try to get back into the dating game again after a few years off, and I’ll share my experiences with a few men I have met recently. Many women I know have similar stories, and I’ll generalize on the characteristics of some men you may recognize if you’re also single and searching.\n\nSponsored Ads | Dates For 50 Plus Singles Germany (https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Germany-dating-service.html? page=120)\nHe’s the Wealthy Bachelor you meet at your athletic club, the one we’d all love to catch, huh? He wines you and dines you, takes you to his vacation homes, and gives you gifts. He even introduces you to his friends and relatives, calling you his “friend”. A few months into the relationship he says “I hope you know I don’t want to get married or anything”, and you say that’s fine because you don’t really know what you want either. A couple of days later he shows up bringing, you guessed it, two dozen red roses and a smile. Several months later, after more trips to casinos, the beach, dinners out and friend introductions, you begin to tell him what you want in a relationship. He listens. He meets your adult children. You think that maybe you actually MEAN something to this guy. He tells you he’s quite the catch and you tell him that’s great, but he’s not “catchable”. Soon after this revelation, you’re cooking dinner for him one night at your place, and he calls ten minutes before he’s due to arrive to tell you he has “lost interest” in you but won’t discuss it with you. He’s not showing up for dinner. And you’ve suddenly lost interest, too! Then you recall the line he gave you early on in the relationship. “Hope you know I don’t want to get married OR ANYTHING”, and you wish you had said then,”Nope, me either” and ignored the next phone call. There’s a reason why he is a Bachelor. He doesn’t want a relationship and never did.\n\nHe’s the guy you meet on a dating site. You message for a while, then talk on the phone. He says he is interested in a relationship and is single. Then you meet in a public place. After a couple of meetings you realize he doesn’t seem to be available on Saturday nights. He calls to ask you to meet on the spur of the moment. You see a pattern developing here. You get a call on Thanksgiving night asking if he can come to your place. You say no, you just returned from visiting your adult children and you’re tired. You say you’re available later in the weekend so he makes a date. He calls two hours before the date and cancels. You know the guy is married by then. Too bad you wasted even a few hours on this one. You should have realized a bit earlier when he couldn’t date you on a Saturday night.\n\nHe’s the other guy you meet in a dating site. He buys you a glass of wine at the “public place” of your choice in your neighborhood. This guy is very easy on the eyes. He tells you the second time you meet that he lives with his son. On the third date he tells you, by the way, that his ex-wife also lives in the same townhouse. Then he says “Most women would run”, so I did. \n\nAnd, run you should. Trust your instincts early on. Hold on to your self esteem! The truth is that many, many men on dating sites are married and are playing with you. This is a fact that the dating sites don’t want you to know. The ratio of men to women on these sites is something like one man for 50 women. And they know it. Don’t waste your money if you are a single woman looking for romance or a relationship. If you’re looking for a good relationship, be yourself and go out and do things you enjoy. Join some singles groups and clubs and take advantage of the chance to go out and meet people. I have done this and have met single men and women who are looking first for a good time out with like-minded single people of both genders. I have networked this way and found employment, become connected to a political group, and had many enjoyable dinners and activities out with new friends. You never know who you will meet and best of all, you will be going out instead of sitting at home staring at your PC (or Mac). And, yes, there are some good men out there. \nSource: https://e-sol.fr/?DatingOverFiftyFive END:VEVENT END:VCALENDAR