{"Bordeaux":{"bf_titre":"Super \u00e9v\u00e9nement \u00e0 Bordeaux","bf_description":"Un \u00e9v\u00e9nement autour du vin, c\u0027est pour cela qu\u0027il est \u00e0 Bordeaux...","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2024-04-10","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2024-04-12","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"Bordeaux","bf_latitude":"44.841225","bf_longitude":"-0.5800364","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"Bordeaux","fichierfichier":"","geolocation":{"bf_latitude":"44.841225","bf_longitude":"-0.5800364"},"date_creation_fiche":"2021-06-21 19:33:56","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","date_maj_fiche":"2024-04-02 16:17:09","user":"YesWikiProAdmin","owner":"YesWikiProAdmin","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222024-04-10\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222024-04-12\u0022 data-bf_latitude=\u002244.841225\u0022 data-bf_longitude=\u0022-0.5800364\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022Bordeaux\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222021-06-21 19:33:56\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222024-04-02 16:17:09\u0022 data-owner=\u0022YesWikiProAdmin\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/e-sol.fr\/?Bordeaux"},"TesT2":{"bf_titre":"Sortie Culturelle","bf_description":"La culture, moins on en a, plus on l\u0027\u00e9tale!","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2024-05-30T18:00:00+02:00","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2024-05-30T20:00:00+02:00","bf_site_internet":"https:\/\/www.yeswiki.net","bf_adresse":"Avenue des Champs Elys\u00e9es","bf_code_postal":"75000","bf_ville":"Paris","bf_latitude":"48.8659085","bf_longitude":"2.3197651","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"TesT2","imagebf_image":"TesT2_presence-photo.png","fichierfichier":"","geolocation":{"bf_latitude":"48.8659085","bf_longitude":"2.3197651"},"date_creation_fiche":"2024-04-02 16:25:51","statut_fiche":"1","date_maj_fiche":"2024-04-02 16:48:20","user":"YesWikiProAdmin","owner":"YesWikiProAdmin","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222024-05-30T18:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222024-05-30T20:00:00+02:00\u0022 data-bf_latitude=\u002248.8659085\u0022 data-bf_longitude=\u00222.3197651\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022TesT2\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222024-04-02 16:25:51\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222024-04-02 16:48:20\u0022 data-owner=\u0022YesWikiProAdmin\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/e-sol.fr\/?TesT2"},"WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking":{"bf_titre":"What Happens When Your Partner Quits Drinking?","bf_description":"{{attach file=\u0022coupleafter.jpg\u0022 desc=\u0022Once somebody gets sober we want everything to be beautiful forever after but life just doesn\u2019t work that way.\u0022 size=\u0022big\u0022 class=\u0022center\u0022 caption=\u0022image coupleafter.jpg (49.6kB)\u0022 nofullimagelink=\u00221\u0022}}\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022**\u201cWithout the usual crutch of alcohol or drugs to lean on, loved ones may find their partner irritable, difficult to talk to, sad, anxious, or frustrated without any obvious explanation.\u201d**\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\n\r\nPeople with addiction tend to be oblivious to how their behavior affects loved ones. Putting down the drugs or alcohol is the first step but it is not a relationship cure-all. Romantic partners can be unprepared for the difficulties they will encounter after their loved one no longer uses a substance.\r\n\r\nLois Wilson, the long-suffering wife of AA\u2019s cofounder, Bill Wilson, said that after he quit drinking\u2014something she had always hoped for\u2014she became disgruntled. She had dreamed of the time he would finally get himself together but now that he was sober, she became bitterly discontented. \u201cIt seemed I saw nothing of the man I had tried to help,\u201d Lois said. He was always with his AA cronies who helped him to resist alcohol. \u201cI guess I was jealous,\u201d Lois admitted, \u201cand resentful that these strangers had done for him what I could not do.\u201d\r\n\r\nRelationship expert and author, Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, told The Fix, \u201cMany spouses I\u2019ve worked with have had a lot of resentment once their partner got clean\u2014resentment they hadn\u2019t allowed themselves the luxury of feeling before, in the \u2018fight\u2019 to get their partner sober. Spouses of recovering addicts also feel a lot of distrust and fear. They want to know their partner\u2019s every move, to be sure he or she is not relapsing.\u201d\r\n\r\nNext, I reached out to addiction and recovery expert Al J. Mooney, M.D., co-author of The Recovery Book. \u201cEarly recovery must be a selfish effort but family members, especially spouses, who suffered so much during active addiction, are often confused when the self-centeredness of the recovering addict continues. Recovery meets the most success when addict and spouse work on their own personal care as the top priority so the relationship can rebuild eventually with two healthy individuals.\u201d\r\n\r\nDr. Mooney explained a common misconception, \u201cA spouse can have an erroneous idea that once he\u2019s sober, everything will be fine. But it can be two to three years before an individual\u2019s recovery is really to the point where there is enough growth for relationships to be healthy. That is very confusing for families, especially those that haven\u2019t received any orientation as to how you need to have two healthy individuals before you can have a healthy relationship. Families can be so good at codependency that they dream about the day their partner gets sober, when life is going to be great. They don\u2019t realize how sick they have gotten by sticking with an alcoholic through the turmoil.\u201d\r\n\r\nMooney\u2019s words rang true when I spoke with with Mary* (a pseudonym). \u201cMy boyfriend came from a very conservative, religious family. When we first got together, he was extremely charming. He said he didn\u2019t agree with his evangelical background. He was addicted to different substances. He said his parents thought drinking was a sin. He couldn\u2019t stop drinking, so his denial rejected the religion. But when he wasn\u2019t drinking, he became manipulative and emotionally abusive. By the time I could see that, it had already affected the way I saw myself. He began quoting bible passages at me. He began to object to me hanging out with my friends. It happened so gradually, I couldn\u2019t see that what was happening was abnormal. In hindsight, there were plenty of times where I should\u2019ve said, \u2018I don\u2019t have to put up with this.\u2019 But I have a tendency to try to save baby birds. I suggested he try AA, counseling, rehab, a retreat. But he would recite bible verses at me.\u201d\r\n\r\nSo, why did Mary stay so long? \u201cI had invested so much time in our relationship. I always try to give people room for their beliefs. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. His dedication to God made it seem like he was trying to better himself. I didn\u2019t realize how warped it was, how controlling and cult-like his family and their religion was.\u201d\r\n\r\nHow did she extricate herself? \u201cI think the only reason I got out of that relationship was that I got very sick. I was so sick that school was considering suspending my degree because they didn\u2019t think I\u2019d be able to finish my course work. I went to live with my nearby aunt and uncle. Thankfully, after six weeks of bed rest, I was able to get back to school and do my dissertation. Having that space away from my boyfriend, and being tended to by loving family and close friends, changed me. Nobody knew what my relationship had been like, but I could see the difference after being treated so well. It wasn\u2019t a clean break but the distance helped. I finally saw that he had two problems: alcohol and religion. I had kept so much hidden but now my current boyfriend knows everything that happened. I\u2019m in a much better place.\u201d\r\n\r\nMooney talked about chapter 26 in The Recovery Book, \u201cWe describe how important it is to give [the newly sober person](https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/sober-singles) some breathing room. Everybody likes a quick fix\u2014once somebody gets sober we want everything to be beautiful forever after but life just doesn\u2019t work that way. Many couples don\u2019t manage to stay together. When a sick alcoholic has an unmanageable life, the spouse often takes total control of the home, kids, the wallet, everything. So, often times when somebody returns to health after active addiction, their spouse is very uncomfortable when all of a sudden, they\u2019re expected to give up the checkbook, give up control of the kids. The self-reliance the spouse had developed to deal with the alcoholic, is threatened and that can be very uncomfortable. It\u2019s easy to point your finger at somebody but it is a family illness. All these factors play into the difficulty of building a healthy relationship after sobriety.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022**Sponsored Ads**  \r\nLooking For Free Online Dating? Try Loveawake:  \r\n[[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Ireland-dating-service.html Irish Free Dating]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Malaysia-dating-service.html Malaysia Dating Site]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Russian-Federation-dating-service.html Free Online Dating in Russia]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Philippines-dating-service.html Philippines Dating Service]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Denmark-dating-service.html Meet Denmark Singles]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Sweden-dating-service.html Sweden Dating Ads]]\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\nWhat if the addict doesn\u2019t get sober in a recovery program or with some kind of therapeutic help? Mooney said, \u201cThat\u2019s what we call a \u2018dry drunk\u2019 or \u2018white knuckle sobriety.\u2019 Remember, the disease of addiction is more than just the drinking and taking drugs. The disease is what lies underneath, what drives them to use. When somebody just stops drinking or doing drugs, it\u2019s like if you and I just stop breathing. For a few seconds, it\u2019s fine but after a minute or two, life gets really, really hard. You get anxious, restless, because if you\u2019re an alcoholic your body needs the alcohol, unless there is recovery that replaces what the alcohol had been trying to treat. Without treatment, people become control freaks, they become angry, resentful, they have a short fuse. Lots of pathology comes along with just sobriety without recovery. There are plenty of people who go to treatment and hear about recovery but never implement it into their lives.\u201d\r\n\r\nThis white knuckling was illustrated when I spoke with Susan* (a pseudonym). She never had a problem with drinking. \u201cIf I\u2019m out with people and they\u2019re having drinks I\u2019m usually the driver. My ex-boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic but he\u2019s certainly not a recovering asshole. [Laughs] We met through friends. He\u2019s really funny and we\u2019re both big nerds and we made the same references to things. We seemed to have a lot in common. If you\u2019re not in a relationship with him, he\u2019s one of the most fun people to hang out with.\u201d\r\n\r\nThe first time he went to rehab it didn\u2019t take. The second time it did. But, Susan said, \u201cHe only went to a men\u2019s group meeting on Tuesday nights. His job seemed to take the place of alcohol. He works for a radio station as an on-air personality. He\u2019s the news, weather, and traffic guy. He began putting all of his energy into that. He was working so much, he stopped going to his men\u2019s meetings.\u201d\r\n\r\nDid he have a sponsor? \u201cYes, and I guess he talked to him but I never knew if he did or didn\u2019t. Looking back, I can see he had anxiety issues. I don\u2019t know how to separate his anxiety issues from his alcoholism. My therapist said it\u2019s probably a chicken and egg situation. His anxiety could have been one of the reasons that he turned to alcohol in the first place\u2014that, and the fact that both of his parents were alcoholics. I don\u2019t know for sure if his annoying behavior was from being an alcoholic who never dealt with his emotional issues, or if it was ongoing emotional issues from not dealing with his anxiety.\u201d\r\n\r\nWas he in therapy? \u201cOh God, no! And I have a master\u2019s degree in psychology. That used to piss him off. Anytime I said anything about psychology, he said, \u2018Stop trying to analyze me!\u2019 His insecurity was too much. I said the same kinds of general things about psychology to other people and they never got upset.\u201d\r\n\r\nSuzette Glasner, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook, told The Fix, \u201cI\u2019ve worked with quite a few individuals for whom the road to recovery posed more challenges to their relationship than they expected. For those who use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate for other underlying problems\u2014depression, anxiety, and general dissatisfaction with life\u2014some of their raw emotions come bubbling to the surface once they get clean and sober, especially in the early phases, when the brain and body are undergoing a delicate healing process.\u201d\r\n\r\nEmotions in early sobriety can be intense. \u201cWithout the usual crutch of alcohol or drugs to lean on,\u201d said Dr. Glasner, \u201cloved ones may find their partner irritable, difficult to talk to, sad, anxious, or frustrated without any obvious explanation.\u201d\r\n\r\nIt can be difficult not to take things personally. \u201cFor some addicts in early recovery, being reassured or comforted is helpful or talking with a partner may be therapeutic,\u201d Glasner said. \u201cBut for others, communicating can feel smothering. I\u2019ve worked with some for whom the addiction placed a comfortable distance and both partners became accustomed to leading fairly separate lives. Then suddenly, in recovery, one partner found renewed interest in his girlfriend, but to her, that felt demanding and overbearing. So, he felt lonely and rejected but she felt smothered and chose to end the relationship.\u201d\r\n\r\nTwo people who are committed to working things out, can get through the ups and downs. As with any relationship, a couple can grow stronger by learning to navigate challenges. Glasner suggested reading about addiction and recovery. Helpful websites include: National Institute on Drug Abuse and the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse.\r\n\r\n\u201cIf you\u2019re in therapy,\u201d said Glasner, \u201chave your partner attend with you once or twice to learn about what each of you are working on. Have open dialogues about what would be most helpful when the newly-sober alcoholic feels triggered.\u201d\r\n\r\nDuring calm periods, it\u2019s smart to plan how to handle flair-ups before they happen. The newly-sober partner will hopefully be able to thank their partner for being patient. Relationship difficulties are normal as you try and figure out how to be happy together. And, thanks to Lois Wilson, Al-Anon is an excellent option.","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-06-04","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-06-04","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking","date_creation_fiche":"2025-06-04 12:27:52","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-06-04 12:27:52","user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-06-04\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-06-04\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-06-04 12:27:52\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-06-04 12:27:52\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/e-sol.fr\/?WhatHappensWhenYourPartnerQuitsDrinking"},"DatingOverFiftyFive":{"bf_titre":"Dating Over Fifty-Five","bf_description":"{{attach file=\u00221634431529612x612.jpg\u0022 desc=\u0022\u0022 size=\u0022big\u0022 class=\u0022center\u0022 caption=\u0022image 1634431529612x612.jpg (38.1kB)\u0022 nofullimagelink=\u00221\u0022}}\r\nDating over fifty-five can be a lot of fun if you let it. Some of men you date will tell you early on why they are not worthy of you if you listen very carefully. And do listen. I am a professional woman over fifty-five and have been single for several years. I thought I might try to get back into the dating game again after a few years off, and I\u2019ll share my experiences with a few men I have met recently. Many women I know have similar stories, and I\u2019ll generalize on the characteristics of some men you may recognize if you\u2019re also single and searching.\r\n\r\n\u0022\u0022\u003Ccenter\u003E\u0022\u0022**Sponsored Ads** | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/France-dating-service.html?page=120 50 Plus Dating In France]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Ukraine-dating-service.html?page=120 Ukraine Over 50 Personals]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Spain-dating-service.html?page=120 50+ Singles in Spain]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Japan-dating-service.html?page=120 Over 50 Dating Site In Japan]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Thailand-dating-service.html?page=120 Free 50 Plus Thai Dating]] | [[https:\/\/www.loveawake.com\/free-online-dating\/Germany-dating-service.html?page=120 Dates For 50 Plus Singles Germany]]\u0022\u0022\u003C\/center\u003E\u0022\u0022\r\nHe\u2019s the Wealthy Bachelor you meet at your athletic club, the one we\u2019d all love to catch, huh? He wines you and dines you, takes you to his vacation homes, and gives you gifts. He even introduces you to his friends and relatives, calling you his \u201cfriend\u201d. A few months into the relationship he says \u201cI hope you know I don\u2019t want to get married or anything\u201d, and you say that\u2019s fine because you don\u2019t really know what you want either. A couple of days later he shows up bringing, you guessed it, two dozen red roses and a smile. Several months later, after more trips to casinos, the beach, dinners out and friend introductions, you begin to tell him what you want in a relationship. He listens. He meets your adult children. You think that maybe you actually MEAN something to this guy. He tells you he\u2019s quite the catch and you tell him that\u2019s great, but he\u2019s not \u201ccatchable\u201d. Soon after this revelation, you\u2019re cooking dinner for him one night at your place, and he calls ten minutes before he\u2019s due to arrive  to tell you he has \u201clost interest\u201d in you but won\u2019t discuss it with you. He\u2019s not showing up for dinner. And you\u2019ve suddenly lost interest, too!  Then you recall the line he gave you early on in the relationship. \u201cHope you know I don\u2019t want to get married OR ANYTHING\u201d, and you wish you had said then,\u201dNope, me either\u201d and ignored the next phone call. There\u2019s a reason why he is a Bachelor. He doesn\u2019t want a relationship and never did.\r\n\r\nHe\u2019s the guy you meet on a dating site. You message for a while, then talk on the phone.  He says he is interested in a relationship and is single. Then you meet in a public place. After a couple of meetings you realize he doesn\u2019t seem to be available on Saturday nights. He calls to ask you to meet on the spur of the moment. You see a pattern developing here. You get a call on Thanksgiving night asking if he can come to your place. You say no, you just returned from visiting your adult children and you\u2019re tired. You say you\u2019re available later in the weekend so he makes a date. He calls two hours before the date and cancels. You know the guy is married by then. Too bad you wasted even a few hours on this one. You should have realized a bit earlier when he couldn\u2019t date you on a Saturday night.\r\n\r\nHe\u2019s the other guy you meet in a dating site. He buys you a glass of wine at the \u201cpublic place\u201d of your choice in your neighborhood. This guy is very easy on the eyes.  He tells you the second time you meet that he lives with his son. On the third date he tells you, by the way, that his ex-wife also lives in the same townhouse.  Then he says \u201cMost women would run\u201d, so I did. \r\n\r\nAnd, run you should. Trust your instincts early on. Hold on to your self esteem!  The truth is that many, many men on dating sites are married and are playing with you. This is a fact that the dating sites don\u2019t want you to know. The ratio of men to women on these sites is something like one man for 50 women. And they know it. Don\u2019t waste your money if you are a single woman looking for romance or a relationship. If you\u2019re looking for a good relationship, be yourself and go out and do things you enjoy. Join some singles groups and clubs and take advantage of the chance to go out and meet people. I have done this and have met single men and women who are looking first for a good time out with like-minded single people of both genders. I have networked this way and found employment, become connected to a political group, and had many enjoyable dinners and activities out with new friends. You never know who you will meet and best of all, you will be going out instead of sitting at home staring at your PC (or Mac). And, yes, there are some good men out there.","bf_date_debut_evenement":"2022-06-18","bf_date_fin_evenement":"2022-06-18","bf_site_internet":"","bf_adresse":"","bf_code_postal":"","bf_ville":"","id_typeannonce":"2","id_fiche":"DatingOverFiftyFive","date_creation_fiche":"2025-06-18 17:09:54","statut_fiche":"1","imagebf_image":"","fichierfichier":"","date_maj_fiche":"2025-06-18 17:09:54","user":"185.107.162.250","owner":"","html_data":"data-bf_date_debut_evenement=\u00222022-06-18\u0022 data-bf_date_fin_evenement=\u00222022-06-18\u0022 data-id_typeannonce=\u00222\u0022 data-id_fiche=\u0022DatingOverFiftyFive\u0022 data-date_creation_fiche=\u00222025-06-18 17:09:54\u0022 data-statut_fiche=\u00221\u0022 data-date_maj_fiche=\u00222025-06-18 17:09:54\u0022 ","url":"https:\/\/e-sol.fr\/?DatingOverFiftyFive"}}